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 Sato's creation

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Sato



Number of posts : 19
Registration date : 2008-01-20

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PostSubject: Sato's creation   1/20/2008, 19:34

Name: Sato

Gender: Male

Age: 14

Height: 5'6

Race:Shinigami

Rank: in squad 11

Looks always wears black shirts and black pant waers some chains his shirt has a hood and stuff his eyes are red but no one has ever seen them sense he died and his skin is whie his hair is black and his eyes are covered becuse it holds a secret that will be known later (a special kido his parnts held from him ) (his parents were half ddead before shot and were shinigami and for the last time youll find out later)

Personality:Depressed all the time becuse he found out about his friend when he first saw his friend die he went all black and then he found he was evil hes not depressed in batlle becuse he has to become strong enough to destroy his friend no matter how hard it is

Likes: pie, his secret family trait, the academy and nothingness

Dislikes:humans

Crushes: none

History:When sato was young he was a human but one day he was walking down a road and he wasnt paying attention then a car was coming , it was about to hit him but one of his best friends who happened to be a adult pushed him aside his friend was killed instantly one day at his families bakery there was a hold up him and his parent were shot but later that night as he was a spirit a shinigami rescued him and brought him into the other world sato thought i wanted to be like him one day sato made something of himself he knew he was someone as on his journey hemetnice fiends but as he made enemies hee worst enemy killed his clostes friend in the seiritei he knew he couldnt avenge all of them so he sent out one bye one but when he found the last killer it was his hero from earth he couldnt believe it the battle ragged on in the end they bolth just left knowing one day he would have to kill him


Last edited by on 1/22/2008, 16:01; edited 7 times in total
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Shiroijin Dante
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PostSubject: Re: Sato's creation   1/20/2008, 19:36

Quote :
We're not accepting anymore captains at the moment. Reasons? Same reason why narutoway killed Iwa. So the groups have more people overall. Thus, I ask you to choose a different rank, and race, if you feel so. Sorry, First Come, First Serve.

If I tell that to one of the founders of the site, then you should expect it.

Thus, If you still want to be a captain, you'll have to be a Lt for now, at least, until we decide to open more Squads. See the already up captains for which Squad to be Lt. too.
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Sato



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PostSubject: Re: Sato's creation   1/21/2008, 06:50

understood so am i a leutenant (cant spell sorry )or what and is my character approved
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Shiroijin Dante
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PostSubject: Re: Sato's creation   1/21/2008, 10:49

Well you'll have to change your squad, since if they're no 6th Captain, theres not going to be a Lt. Either. The current squads available are Squads 1, 3, 5, 9, and 11.

Also, a longer history and better description is suggested. You wear black isn't good enough.
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Sato



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PostSubject: Re: Sato's creation   1/21/2008, 16:24

fixed
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Shiroijin Dante
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PostSubject: Re: Sato's creation   1/21/2008, 16:27

Could ya make the History, a little more clear...its kinda hard to read it.

Same with Appearance and personality, add onto it and be into more Deph.

Since you're Lt., I have to give you some standards after all.
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Sato



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PostSubject: Re: Sato's creation   1/22/2008, 15:24

hopefully its good this time i know im a lt nut can you go easier
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Shiroijin Dante
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PostSubject: Re: Sato's creation   1/22/2008, 15:31

...

I don't see any changes...
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Sato



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PostSubject: Re: Sato's creation   1/22/2008, 15:33

does that mean its approved just to make shure
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Shiroijin Dante
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PostSubject: Re: Sato's creation   1/22/2008, 15:39

Thats a no...As in work on description. Seriosuly...I know NOTHING about how you like. Your description on your clothing is a mess. You don't tell me your skin Color, what your eyes are, or even your hair. And your personality could be tweaked a bit, as well as History...
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Sato



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PostSubject: Re: Sato's creation   1/22/2008, 15:49

i did evreything like you said theres nothing left to change evreything is how you said come on is this good if not ill change it no matter what
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Shiroijin Dante
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PostSubject: Re: Sato's creation   1/22/2008, 15:51

Bah....

Better personality. Write MORE, like whys he depressed, and why not in battle.

And...Well, the whole "Eyes never seen" is kinda redundant...since he didn't exactly begin his life as a Spirit while wearing the hood...

whatever.
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Sato



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PostSubject: Re: Sato's creation   1/22/2008, 16:01

ddddddddddddooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i think its kinda good can you cut me a break oh and check it
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Shiroijin Dante
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PostSubject: Re: Sato's creation   1/22/2008, 16:03

Much better, and makes sense. Though, I expect more character development later on...

Approved.
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